There's a 'poem/story' that I came across shortly after we found out about Imogene's CP. The gist is that the person bought a ticket to France, but ended up in Holland. And Holland is lovely, and the person is happy because they had never been there before, and there is so much to see. And the tulips are nice, but the person was planning on France and the Eiffel Tower. So the person is happy, but disappointed all at the same time. It's not that they don't love being in Holland, it's just not what they were planning on.
I wish I could find it, because it's how I've felt a lot this week. Imogene got her orthotic on Wednesday. It is very cute (I'll post pictures soon.) But it's much bigger than her foot, and so none of the shoes we have fit it. Stupidly, I asked Susan at PT how long she'd be wearing orthotics, and she said that it would be for the foreseeable future, years at least. Of course I heard "Forever" from that. And I'm sure it's not forever. But it requires wearing a sock under it, so immediately I think of all the cute summer shoes that she can't wear. It just broke my heart. I held it together during therapy, but cried and cried the whole way home. (Thank you Ryan for listening.) As the wise, wise preschool teacher we know & love said to me, "She has a foot to put in it." I know that. I know that we are so blessed by everything. And I know that it's vain to worry about what shoes she wears. But as the wise, wise preschool director said, "It's okay to mourn that it didn't turn out just the way you wanted it to." So that's what I'm mourning. I want her to be able to absolutely everything and anything she wants to do - including walking into a shoe store and picking out exactly what shoe she wants to wear. Imogene and I found some shoes that fit. They are big and white and clunky lace-up tennis shoes. (I also bought her a cute pair of brown shoes to wear the times she doesn't have to wear the orthotic.) The lady at Stride Rite took pity on my disastrous state, and sold me one pair of 4s that fit her left foot and right foot without the brace, and then just gave me a size 6 1/2 for the right with the orthotic in it. Yes, the orthotic makes it 2 1/2 sizes bigger. The "average" two-year old is a size 6-7 by the way. Tiny over here is a 4!!!!
So I'm doing better, but still just bummed.