Imogene's Turn

Just when we had Lily back to a pretty happy girl most of the day, Imogene goes and gets a fever of 103. She was just miserable this afternoon and so lethargic. She slept in my lap or cried into my shoulder most of the afternoon. Thanks to the Jones family for having Lily over and feeding her supper. (Again!) Imogene's culture from Friday came back negative (although I question the accuracy of this test, since I'm the one that pulled the sample from the diaper and put it in the test tube, but anyway.)  But the nurse at Dr. Baldrate's didn't like the sound of the fever after so many days of a messy tummy. So we're going to see Dr. Baldrate first thing tomorrow morning. That will make four visits in the past five weeks. We're on a roll. She woke up tonight after about an hour of sleep. She slept in Mommy's arms for about 20 minutes, and is back asleep in the bed. I could just feel that her fever was still high by touching her.
Unrelated, but sort of not. This train of though went through my head today. I saw a girl and her mom on a walk. The girl was about 11, and clearly had CP and possibly Downs Syndrome. Her CP was much more serious than Imogene's. Immediately I thank God that we're not dealing with more than we are (which makes me feel slightly guilty, because that's really not fair to her family, but what can you do about how you feel?) Then I think about what we'd do if Imogene had another stroke or developed seizures. For that matter, what if something happens to Lily? What if Lily had a stroke? Sometimes I forget (on purpose) that Lily is not immune to anything. I really sometimes think she's like Teflon and nothing will go wrong with her, because it's already gone wrong with Imogene and isn't that just enough for one family? And then I think, goodness gracious being a parent is just too much on your heart sometimes. How does anyone with children take a deep breath every day? What an awesome responsibilty and love it is to be a parent, and to be so madly, bonkers in love with these little people that you'd rip yourself in pieces to make them happy, healthy and safe. How do any of us survive loving that much? What crazy trip are we on I ask you????